If you have worked in the public sector long enough, you have likely experienced some complicated customer-patient situations. Our businesses’ focal point is restoring sight and providing an outstanding, purposeful and pleasant experience for patients. So, what should you do when a patient loses control to the point that the individual is yelling or cursing? No one likes this scenario, but when (not if) you find yourself in this situation, it’s essential to remember to maintain your self-control. De-escalating the situation helps you and your practice maintain a professional image, which is crucial to our line of work. Here are a few tips to help you recover and keep your composure.
1. Distance yourself emotionally
Though this first step can be challenging, it is essential to note that when a patient loses their composure, what they are upset about may not have anything to do with you. Patients seen at a medical office may be in pain, confused, or frustrated by something completely separate from whatever they may be upset about in the moment. If the situation involves something you or your practice did, own it. But distance yourself from that person’s reaction and understand how to deal with the root cause. You should feel empowered to decide that you will not allow this person to rattle you and determine that you will help this person to the best of your ability. Asking clarifying questions can be helpful when working to understand what made them so upset and what you can do to resolve their issue. Examples can include:
- Would you prefer to discuss this now, or would it be better to schedule a time that works for you?
- Have you experienced this issue before, or is this the first time?
- Can you share how this situation has impacted you?
- Is there anything specific that you would like me to clarify or explain further?
2. Direct patient to quiet space
If a patient is upset and yelling in a common area, such as the lobby or the hallway, work to remove them from a group setting into a private office or space. This ensures that the displeased individual does not affect other patients waiting or seeing the doctor and it respects the patient’s privacy and confidentiality. This can also help the patient calm down as they transition from a potentially triggering area to a more neutral environment. In addition, moving to another location may assist the individual in avoiding embarrassment. Let the patient vent without interruption. Then let the patient describe the issue that has troubled them so much. While it may be our tendency to interrupt and defend ourselves, our team, or our practice, interrupting a patient or interjecting statements often only makes it look like we are deflecting blame. It’s essential to listen to the person’s challenges, hear what is happening and not interrupt them until they have finished telling their story.
3. Avoid generic statements
Using phrases such as “I understand” when addressing upset patients can often lead to frustration. Some patients may feel that if you truly understood their challenges, the issue could have been avoided. This phrase can come across as placating rather than demonstrating active listening and a commitment to resolving the problem. To foster better communication, it’s advisable to avoid using “I understand” in isolation. Instead, consider a more empathetic approach, such as, “I understand, and I would feel upset as well.” This acknowledges their feelings while reinforcing your willingness to help.
4. Use reflective statements
The phrase “So, you …” can better assist you in showing empathy and helping you understand their perspective. Starting with this phrase can help you connect with a patient, clarify what you are hearing, and do it in a way that does not appear combative. For example, suppose a patient states their frustration with their medical bill. In that case, you might say, “So, you were hoping to get some clarification and ensure the bill is accurate?” This approach fosters a sense of connection and understanding with the patient, making them feel heard and valued.
5. Watch body language, tone
When a person is upset, and the situation is escalating, it is essential to ensure you are not inadvertently causing them to become angrier. Sometimes, your position may be unintentional, and you may not even be aware that something you are doing is upsetting the patient even more. When working with someone who is angry, remember that communication is typically 55% body language, 38% tone and only 7% the words you use. When someone is directing their anger towards you, take a moment to compose yourself by lowering your tone, slowing your pace, and ensuring you don’t create a physical barrier, such as crossing your arms, lifting your hand, or placing your hands in your pockets.
6. Practice helpful phrases
In the heat of the moment, it’s hard to remember calming phrases that can soothe the situation and provide protection. A coaching saying states, “You will never rise to the occasion. You will only fall back to the level of your training.” To that end, practicing what you might say in these difficult situations is key. This preparation will give you the confidence and assurance to handle these situations effectively. If you need help and support, take some time to practice with your colleagues. Some key phrases or sentences that can be helpful include:
- I can solve this problem, but we must discuss it calmly.
- During phone calls: I genuinely want to assist you. However, if the yelling and swearing continue during this call, I will need to ask you to call back later.
- When the person is in the office: I genuinely want to assist you. However, if the yelling and swearing continue, I must ask you to step outside and return when you feel ready to discuss this calmly.
- If you’d like a few minutes to calm down before we continue, I’d be happy to check back with you in 15 minutes to discuss a solution.
- I’m sorry, but it is challenging to help you when you speak in that tone. If it stops, I can certainly help.
Remember: Customer service is a journey. While working with challenging patients or situations, customer service and how we conduct ourselves is a process. For example, I am better at customer service now than I was 10 years ago, and I hope to be cumulatively better at customer service 10 years into the future. To do that, I must keep practicing the situation and learning from my mistakes. Learning from mistakes, especially the do’s and don’ts for crucial phrases, can improve our ability to provide better customer service (see Do’s and Don’ts below).
When all else fails, remember the key phrase, “What can I do to make this right?” This question allows the patient to tell you how you can resolve the issue and help them.
Most importantly, don’t take it personally. Sometimes, in your career, a peer or a patient will become angry at you. While it is never comfortable, separating personal issues when someone else is upset is essential. The best way to conduct yourself is never to take offense. We do that by being respectful and remaining open and accountable.
Conclusion
When dealing with challenging or upset patients, remember, “Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering” (Don Miguel Ruiz, “The Four Agreements”). You cannot prevent upset patients or customer service challenges, but you can prepare for them. Follow these tips to reinforce your skills and be ready for any situation! OP
